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5 Ways to Make a Stay At Home Dad Squirm

Rules Without Relationship

After the D6 conference, I received an open invitation by Lantz Howard to guest blog about my experience.  The opportunity was open to anyone so I decided to write about Dr. Kevin Leman’s talk on how parents can get their kids to understand parental authority and ultimately the authority God has in their lives. 

Check out the blog post here!

~JK

Family of Faith – 08/19/07

“Mom, have you ever done anything bad?”

I remember when I first asked that question of my parents. They got squirmy real fast and tried to change the subject to something else. As an eight year old I was able to catch on to what they were doing and their uncomfortability at my question. So I did what any eight year old would do…kept asking. What came out of that question was an atmosphere of honesty and openness between me and my dad that I would not trade for anything. There are certainly appropriate times for parents to disclose certain things about their past, and there may even be things that child will not need to ever hear about. As with any experience, our stories are full of teachable moments. When we see choices our kids make and are reminded of a poor decision we once made, what an excellent opportunity for children to see that parents do make mistakes and that it is ok to talk about them with their kids. Children tend to think that since the parents set the rules, the parents obey the rules. If having a conversation with your child about a time you broke the rules frightens you, think about the benefits to your relationship when they feel that the communication lines are open regarding mistakes they make. Children may understand that there will still be consequences but they will be more willing to accept them knowing that you as a parent can relate. Below are some tips for opening the communication doors to your past. I hope you will strive to use your stories and experiences as teachable moments for your children.

~Josh Kellar

Taking It Home
Share a time with your child when you:
1. Were surprised by God as a child
2. Failed a friend
3. Saw your parent’s faith in action
4. Learned from a mistake
5. Learned from someone else’s mistake.

Fan the Flame

There may be a great fire in our soul, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passersby only see a wisp of smoke coming through the chimney, and go along their way. Look here, now what must be done? Must one tend the inner fire, have salt in oneself, wait patiently yet with how much impatience for the hour when somebody will come and sit down – maybe to stay? Let him who believes in God wait for the hour that will come sooner or later. ~Vincent van Gogh

This was quoted by Henri J.M. Nouwen in The Way of the Heart. He is talking about silence. He uses this quote to reflect on how we seldom tend the inner fire of our souls. We want others to be warmed by it so badly that we stand with the door open saying, “Come inside and get warmed!” Yet, all this really does is cool the inside which was once warm. Instead, we ought to stoke to fire and get it roaring. You can tell about the warmth inside by looking at the chimney. A wisp of smoke means a weak fire.

Henri Nouwen says that, “The word is the instrument of the present world and silence is the mystery of the future world.” By choosing not to speak, we keep the door closed and wait patiently for the hour to come when someone will see the billows of smoke escaping from our chimney, and then – sooner or later – someone will knock on the door and find warmth inside.
~JK

Godly Husbands: Reflecting the Image of Christ for our Wives

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This past weekend I did my first workshop for a church. I was asked to do a workshop for newly married husbands. When I arrived I found that there were only 3 (out of 11) who had been married for less than 3 years. Some had been married for nearly 60 years! It was incredibly humbling to hear the responses from the men who have been married for so long. They were so eager to learn and continue to work on their marriages.

We focused primarily on Ephesians 5 and what exactly it means to love our wives as Christ loves the church. We discussed how we are wired differently to show love and accept respect. I feel the discussion went very well. Preaching there Sunday morning was also a pleasure. The topic of faithfulness and commitment is always something I enjoy preaching about. “God is more faithful than we are.” It sounds like a no-brainer but the implications of this for our relationships seems to be far reaching and at times quite difficult. I look forward to opportunities in the future to do similar workshops.

~JK

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