Category Archives: Family
The following is the text from an email I sent out to the Family Enrichment Prayer Team I have at church. It’s a group of people who have committed themselves to praying for the young families at church and be intentional about lifting up the classes and events we offer for families.
Why Families Are Important!
Things seems to be settling into a good groove with our latest family enrichment initiatives. Why is what we’re doing in the family ministry so important? Most churches have bible classes for kids, so what makes ministering to families different?
I have spent the nearly ten years I’ve been in ministry trying to come up with the best way to articulate an answer to this question. The best reason I have come up with is this:
No context carries as much potential as a family
to show a child what the good life in Christ looks like.
You heard that right, even above a church, a family has greater potential to impart a lasting, vibrant and maturing faith. George Barna has done one research study after another about how church programs and Sunday services do not leave as deep an impact as a home with spiritual formation as it’s focus.
So what does this mean for us? It means in order for us to have the greatest impact possible, we have to be reaching and equipping the parents. We cannot assume that because parents are bringing kids to church that there is faith formation happening in the home. Unless we are training parents how to connect what happens at church with what happens in the home, we leave a greater chance that our efforts, 1 hour each week, will not be maximized towards lifelong discipleship.
So keep on praying for our families. Take one to lunch. Find out what their lives are like and ask what they really need. Help them navigate living out their faith amid busy schedules and competing voices telling them what’s truly important.
Thank you for your investment in our families. It IS making an eternal impact!
Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family by Michelle Anthony
There are bookshelves full of resources claiming to help people achieve the abundant life. Our first week’s reading of Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, bursts the bubble that claims that we can do anything to attain it. If you want your family to have an “abundant life” you must purse Jesus first. Pursuit of him leads to abundant life while pursuit of abundant life leads to dysfunction.
My take away from this week’s reading is that pursuing abundant life leads to dysfunction because my view of what abundant life is gets skewed in so many ways it neglects the bigger picture that only God knows. As I begin to see my life as a part of His story, and begin living according to the script that God has written, His abundant life will become attainable because it is a bi-product of following Jesus.
Below I have listed the reflection and response questions from Chapter 1 and my responses underneath. I invite you to take a stab at transparency and answer them for yourself in the comments! I look forward to reading your thoughts
Reflect & Respond Questions from Chapter 1
Take assessment of your life and the lives of your family members right now. In what areas have you coveted another’s script? In what ways have you attempted to play the role of Director in your own life?
Rate yourself today on a scale from 1 to 5 (1 – “ceased to live” or “dysfunctional living and 5 – “living the abundant life”). What factors have contributed to this number?
What is most difficult for you in the process of “staying on script”?
What do you want or need to say to a God who continues to accomplish His plans despite your childish demands?
Where does your family need an intervention from God right now?
- When I look back at my own life events, I have “coveted another’s script” any time I feel like I’ve been dealt a bad hand. I’m currently the only full-time staff member at our church and when I was hired, this was not what I envisioned. To be honest, there’s been a temptation to bail out of a difficult situation to try and pursue a “more abundant life” elsewhere – taking on the Director role of my own life. As my wife and I look at how our life’s circumstances have been orchestrated though, seasons of difficulty have always brought us into greater clarity of God’s purpose. Being faithful to him – allowing Him to be the Director – has always paid off.
- 4 – There still remains a need for me to release the areas where I want to maintain control. I really do feel that I am, for the most part, living out a life that pursues God as first in charge of my life but the tendency remains for me to try and manipulate things to go my way.
- The most difficult thing for me in the process of “staying on script” is believing that my part is important enough. I really second-guess sometimes whether what I am doing makes a difference or is just something I enjoy. Trying to follow his lead and direction for my life is difficult when seeing how it is impacting the Kingdom is not easily visible.
- “God, keep doing what you’re doing – even if it hurts. Catch me quickly when I try to take over your seat in the Director’s chair and put me back where you want me reading your own script.”
- (This is a tough question to answer publicly!) They need their dad/husband to lead. I am a leader and set the spiritual climate in my own home. Sometimes I convince myself that because my life, in general, is characterized by service in the Kingdom that the spiritual climate in my home will experience the blessings of this. In reality, my actual spiritually formative emphasis at home lacks enthusiasm. It’s there but it could take shape much more creatively and energetically than it is currently does.
Again, I invite you to respond in the comments below with your own answers! Thanks for sharing!
And I admit, I listened.
I thought about interrupting them but I wanted to hear what they were saying about her. Usually I am not the type of person who will listen in when someone is talking about someone else, however, I couldn’t help it because…
…every word they were saying was true.
Today as I sat in my office at church, I had my door open and a couple ladies were out in the main office chatting and I heard Krista’s name. My ears perked up, I stopped what I was doing and I eavesdropped.
What they said made me proud.
My wife is currently participating in a Bible class at church and the class participants share emails throughout the week as they process the material. The two ladies are both enrolled and were discussing what Krista had shared. I don’t know what she wrote in her email to them but apparently it was inspiring. They went on to talk about her insight and giftedness and I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. On this occasion, they were not complimenting her to me, rather sharing about how she had blessed their lives without knowing that their praises were blessing me. I was immediately reminded of Proverbs 31:
She always faces tomorrow with a smile.When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,and she always says it kindly.She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,and keeps them all busy and productive.Her children respect and bless her;her husband joins in with words of praise:“Many women have done wonderful things,but you’ve outclassed them all!”Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.The woman to be admired and praisedis the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.Give her everything she deserves!
What is the opposite of “dysfunctional living?” Is it, being happy? Nothing ever going wrong? Perfect parenting or a marriage without arguing? We can sometimes joke about the effect of our unhealthy relationship styles. Maybe laughing about our faults is a good way of not taking things too seriously. Not taking a close look, though, at the dysfunction in our lives can result in not even tasting what the “abundant life” is like. How do we even pursue living the abundant life and what does it look like?
The abundant life is to seek and know this holy and perfect God, understand the plan He has initiated, discover how He is writing the story to accomplish this plan, and then humbly receive your script and play your part – as written.
Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, p.13
Saturday we launch into our book club covering Michelle Anthony’s Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles. It’s not too late to join and the club “meetings” are all online, on your own time! I will be posting chapter responses and questions here on this blog and anyone is welcome to participate! The book is available on Amazon.com. Visit the initial post about the club for more information!
Spiritually healthy families come from spiritually healthy individuals who, on their journey together, seek to live “on script” each day. Spiritually healthy families are not made up of people who never mess up their lines, or forget whether to enter stage left or stage right – they are not perfect performers. But they are families working together as loving case members, discovering the intimate beauty of watching the character development of each person unfold-in the midst of the messiness.
Michelle Anthony, Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, p.13
Next week we begin a book club to help us learn to live “on script.” When we realize that we cannot have spiritually healthy families without being spiritually healthy individuals, the pressure is really on. If we desire our families to be living the abundant life that Jesus offers, we have to take an honest look at the habits we have that keep us from joining the story God has planned for us!
I hope you’ll consider joining us for this book study. We will read a chapter a week and I will write an initial response on this blog to each chapter. If you care to share your own thoughts or responses, you can do so through the comments!
Get the book now on Amazon or at a Christian bookstore in order to begin reading on April 12th! The first chapter response will be posted on the 18th! Click here to read the post with complete reading schedule.
I look forward to learning to live “on script” with you!