Enjoying the Journey
I say its not so bad…Perhaps that is because I am not getting up as much in the middle of the night as Krista is. Perhaps this is because, while I have emotional needs that are being met as I hold her and care for her, Miriam does not depend on me for anything she needs in order to survive. I do not seem to mind waking up in the middle of the night to change diapers or to burp her. Her crying is even cute sometimes when her little lip quivers. Its really not as bad as people make it out to be. Or perhaps…
I just love being a father.
I have not experienced anything so far that I have not enjoyed about having an infant. All along, since we found out we were pregnant (I say “we” because as a family systems theorist, when there is a change in one part of the system, there is always a change in the rest of the system….We were pregnant….We had a baby) we have tried to take everything that happens as an opportunity to learn something new. A good friend of mine once said to enjoy the journey. I think this approach to life helps me to not be bothered by the 3 am feedings or the wacky emotions of a pregnant woman. Looking at life as a journey, I see each moment as a chance to realize something new.
When Miriam cries at night and I wake her up, check her diaper and do not find anything, instead of getting frustrated that I got up for nothing, I get to see Krista – as tired as she is – wake up and feed her without complaining. She may even sometimes smile as I hand Miriam to her and say lovingly, “Are you hungry precious?” I am enjoying the journey. I love to see the joy that my daughter brings to life and the faces on others as she begins to cry. I am not in a hurry to see her grow up, I do not pine for the day she is sleeping through the night or for the day she says, “Daddy” for the first time. I loved today because I got to see her smile. I loved the five minute break I had just now so I could put her to bed.
I am enjoying the journey.