Why do I want to be a parent?

I have finished my classes, taken the national marriage and family therapy exam and am just a few weeks away from completing my hour requirments for graduation. My mind has begun to wander to other matters on the horizon. For those who read this blog and do not talk to me in person, Krista and I found out abotu a month ago that we are having a little . Miriam Grace Kellar is growing nicely inside my wife’s womb and the nursery is coming together. My thoughts seem to be more and more occupied with the birth of my child and how I am going to support her. Thoughts about how I plan to parent and how things will be different seem to pervade my silent time. I decided to buy a parenting book by an author who spoke at ACU recently. Here are some reflections as I have just finished the first chapter.

Why do I want to be a parent? This question drove the insights of the first chapter and called into question my intentions for bringing another child into this world. Do I want to be a parent because I think I will be good at it? Many people have told me that I will be a good father. I am flattered by this but I am not convinced that this is the reason. I have often found myself feeling like parenting is simply the next step in the formation of my family. Krista and I have been married for just over four years, why shouldnt we have a child. Despite the fact that Krista and I made a decision we were ready to have kids, this decision was not based on either of these. We both wanted children. We have always known that. We had names picked out before we were even married. I think we had both just assumed we would but did not perhaps really investigate why.

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In his book, Sacred Parenting, Gary Thomas proposes that the reason we have kids is not for the children’s sake. He says there is something about being a parent that changes us. In our effort to raise spiritual children, we have to be spiritual. Our relationship with God is transformed as we live out our desire to raise children in the image of his Son. He writes,

“We live in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit up on themselves or on us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle us and kiss us and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways.”

In the good and the bad they mold, shape and invite us to experience God. I want this to be why I parent. There is something that is already happening to me as I look on the growing belly of my wife. I know there is a child of God inside that I have so much to learn from.


About joshkellar

I'm married to an incredible woman of God and have two daughters that love to laugh and delight in the Lord. My goal in life is to bring others into closer relationship with God by engaging them in His story as we journey together in a faith-filled community. The basis for every decision I make in life comes back to my calling to share the love of God with those around me. My hope is that at every opportunity I will encourage others into a greater lifelong journey of discipleship.

Posted on June 10, 2006, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Miriam Grace is already blessed with great parents!! Blessings to you both and to Miriam… 🙂

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